Movie Review: Jhoom Barabar Jhoom

I managed to watch Jhoom Barabar Jhoom over the weekend.. Saturday morning first show it was! And I am glad it was so... why? Morning show tickets are cheaper than the evening shows. Much to my agony, in this age of scantily clad actresses and sparkling colors on the Yashraj screen, I was still not able to recover my 90 bbucks. Not even Gulzar's lyrics, Shankar-Ehsaan-Loy's music, london locales... Nothing worked! Pathetic movie!

Its a movie which revels in mindlessness, below average acting, and poor casting.

The basic plot of the movie seems inspired by the movie Chocolate featuring Anil Kapoor, Emran Hashmi, Irfan Khan and Tanushree Dutta. Not the bank robbery thing, but people cooking up stories on the fly looking at the billboards and magazines lying around. Guy meets girl. Girl wants to avoid guy. Cooks up a story about being engaged. Guy cooks up a similar story about being engaged. (How usual!) Both cookup extremely flimsy idiotic stories. Start liking each other. But can't say! Since the other likes someone else. Mess? No! They go back to their homes. Call up each other. Forcefully and with the right set of incentives, persuade their story characters to participate in a 15 minute long dance and music competition, at the beginning of which know the only surprise element left is - "who will win the dance competition?". Everything else is already fixed. Match fixing, eh? Worse still - even the choreo of this 15 minute marathon is not great.
The constant reference to the guys being from india and the gals being from Pakistan is just not needed. There are better ways of advocating unification of India and Pakistan into one nation!
Absolutely no chemistry being Abhishek and Preity. 2 smooch scenes featuring Lara Dutta (once with Abhishek, and the next time with Bobby Deol). What is the bachchan family thinking now? I heard there were some strong reactions to Hrithin-Ash smooch scene in Dhoom2, including some from Abhishek too! Preity refuses to oblige in a similar way. With her, its back to the flowers in gardens, birds in sky and other such metaphors. Bobby Deol is pathetic, no surprises there. Lara Dutt looks hot, but 1. is there for a very short duration and 2. even that doesn't help.

And those who are wondering where Amitji is in the middle of all this - This really is a new role for him! Special Guest appearance as a singing dancing sensation, who sings and dances everywhere in London, without any invitation. And the same song, over and over again!


Best character - Hafeez Bhai! He has his comic moments!

Music- some of the songs are good. You can see some of Gulzar and SEL in action there! Title Song, Bol Na Halke Halke, and Ticket to Hollywood are the ok.

Overall - Dont watch!

Well.. I haven't stopped watching movies, or plays, or listening to music that I want to talk about, or books that I have read that I want to let you know about. and its not that I have been totally deprived of time either! Yes, life has been a bit of this and that, but I think its more of outright laziness lately that has stopped me from writing!

So... Wassup? Me? Watched Shrek3, Cheeni Kum, Shootout at Lokhandwala and n number of Naruto episodes lately. [ Remind me to start writing about animation series like Naruto and Avatar-The Last Airbender as well]

Shrek 3 was neat, not as neat as 1 or 2, but neat nevertheless! Time well spent. Watched it at Eros, Nariman Point. It was a pleasant change to watch a movie from balcony for 60 bucks, in a really downtown location (people tell me that it doesnt get more posh than that in mumbai - South mumbai is "the" place!). I guess one of these days I would stop watching movies so frequently because I don't think a movie like Shootout deserves even 25 bucks, leave aside 250 bucks! The movie was pathetic, to say the list. Rediff was right in commenting about the idiots who fund such movies. Cheeni Kum would have been a perfect movie if the length was shortened and Paresh Raval muted a bit! Tabu and Amitabh are cool, and its surprising to notice that they had a pretty cool chemistry! Its a good movie to watch!

At one time I really wanted to blast movies like Tara Rum Pum having watched the early shows. But thats some less blood on my hands! ;)


Watched a play - "Flowers" at NCPA. Its a monologue enacted by Rajit Kapur (Of Byomkesh Bakshi fame). (Here is a review that I largely agree with) . Same problem as Cheeni Kum. The length, though short by the standards of usual plays (90 mins), could have been shortened further. More so, because there was no change in scene, no pause, no other character but the protagonist, and no movements. Its about a priest who's torn between his duties as a priest, his love for his wife and his lust for a courtesan. Its a 90 minute narration where the priest walks through the course of events, his emotions, his agony and conflict, paints images using his words, and makes us all visualize the drama! Rajit Kapoor managed to be ok. But the play was just not my kind. I don't want to take the credit away from Rajit, but c'mon - I have a low attention span. I can't concentrate on something for 90 minutes on the trot! Not a lecture from the greatest of professors, not the same song even if I am in love with it, nothing!

My analytics blog is still waiting for the remaining articles and a response to Amit's comment.

There is a blogger meet on 9th June in Mumbai. I am still debating within myself if I want to attend! Should be fun. Lets see!

Movie review: Bheja Fry

After a long time, a completely comic movie. Even if its a lift-off (as I was told by a friend) of a French movie, lets give it to the director. What a novel concept – a modern age upmarket guy who loves his Fridays like anything. Why? Because that’s when he gets to enjoy at the expense of a simpleton! Even the thought is funny (Yeah Yeah! It’s a little mean! ;) but funny nevertheless!)

Anyways, back to the movie. Its an extremely inexpensive movie which uses some of the most amazing actors (except Milind Soman, who cannot be put in the same category) that are inexpensive (they are not the ABs, Shahrukhs of the world) in an inexpensive setup (only a couple of rooms/houses where the entire movie is shot!) and in the most involved manner. The movie’s biggest plus point is that it doesn’t require you to think a lot, but cannot be called mindless either.


Talking about the story, as I expressed, I loved the plot. Just look at the tagline- When was the last time you met an idiot? Well, the movie is about Bharat Bhushan (Vinay Pathak), an Income Tax clerk hopelessly in love with singing and hopeless in terms of abilities as well. Add to it the fact that he is a talkative and dumb simpleton.
Thadani (Rajat Kapoor) and his friends meet every Friday to enjoy at the expense of a dumb simpleton. And Harsh Chaya is winning the race for having introduced the best (the most hilarious simpleton) till now, a guy who can spit spot on (into a glass placed several yards away!). Rajat’s friend chances upon Vinay on his bus journey from Pune, where he is subjected to his antics. From that point onwards, the movie is about the interaction between Vinay and Rajat with the additional elements being Rajat’s relationship with his wife (Sarika), a mistress Suman Rao, and Sarika’s ex-interest Anant (Milind Soman). How things turn tables on Rajat when he meets his golden simpleton is what the movie is all about.

The movie moves (I like the sound of it) on at a rapid pace, and is a very short movie (all of 1 hour 40 minutes or so). All the actors are chosen carefully (with the twin objective of performance and economics). The set is simple, consistent and carefully chosen. I don’t remember a single shot of the movie where I could have said why did the director have to get this in. So, full marks to the direction, editing and scripting side of the movie.
But, as some of the unworthy critics (like Khaled Mohammed who directed Fiza once upon a time, and Rajeev Masand) point out, the director should not get points because the movie is a lift-off from “The Dinner Game”, a French movie.

Vinay is the soul of all situational comedy in the movie – be it the shot where is gradually shifting while talking to Suman Rao on phone even when Rajat Kapoor is shouting at him, or his innocent “Its Ringing”. (I can actually imagine some people pulling this on their bosses) The way he opens the briefcase everytime to take out his “Bharat Bhushan ki kahani, geeton ki jubani” is just hilarious. That multicolored polybag which makes an irritating ruffling noise every time he folds it, the way he holds the thread between his teeth, his conscious upward look when is changing the number combination on the lock, everything is a masterpiece.
Rajat is good in his role. He has mastered these roles of urbane middle/upper income class guys with a nice subtle sense of humor. He comes across as the quintessential theater artist who take their body language, movements as seriously as their facial expressions. However, the flip of the movie is when his broken aching back suddenly becomes fine with no explanation given.

Sarika place a nice little cameo (in terms of performance). But nobody bothers to tell us why she is so frustrated with Rajat, a husband with whom she was seen buying a new car the previous week. Surprisingly, the only reference to a fight is the one regarding the Friday sessions.

Milind Soman is not asked to do much. And that’s what he does. He does not spoil the movie with his wooden acting. And so, he is good!

Ranvir Shorey is a little disappointing, and not an iota because of his acting. The disappointment comes from two separate facts – one, he is asked to carry an elongated face. In a movie which is so natural, that was not needed. Two, he is shown as a muslim character who wants Pakistan to win cricket matches against India. Its such a negative and unjustified typecast to be kept in the film. Moreover, in the same vein, he is shown as a tax official of highest integrity and impeccable knowledge. Tch Tch!

Suman Rao (played by Bhairavi Goswami) is a name that you would want to remember as Suman Rao (quite like Baby Doll volume 3 – Sophia of Pyar Ke Side Effects). The actress is pretty hopeless, even though she has one of the most comical moments in the movie. The point where she asks what a thurkey means, and the sheepish response of Vinay is a big comic high point.


And two more scenes that definitely deserve a mention are –
1. Ranvir Shorey, when he realizes that the guy he is auditing is sleeping with his wife
2. “Aayega Aayega mein kitni baar aayega?” (reference to the song “Aayega Aayega” from Mahal)

Extremely simple, but amazingly funny movie. Must Must see!

Movie Review: The Namesake

I saw the movie more than a week back. However, I was thinking of writing the review only after I have read the book as well. As Diamond would have it, the book has taken steam in the last day or so, and the review has been pending a while.

Yenniways, back I am. To talk about Gogol, Goggles, Ashoke, Ashima, America, India, Bengal, and all their Namesakes.

Of all the classical literature I have followed, somehow, I never ended up reading Nikolai Gogol. Dostoevsky, Chekhov, and Tolstoy were as much a Russian repertoire as I could get comfortable with. Anyways, the plan is to read and figure out if I have also come from Gogol’s overcoat.

The movie seems to have impressed a lot of people, but yours truly wasn’t really impressed. And for a change, the biggest disappointment was Tabu, who just doesn’t seem Bengali enough. IrfanKhan is extremely convincing in his accent and demeanor of a Bengali. Kal Penn disappoints (with due respect to his comic timing and my appreciation of his several other movies). Others don’t really have a role.

The Namesake is the story of Gogol Ganguli (or, Nikhil Ganguli) (Kal Penn), the namesake of the great Russian author Nikolai Gogol, with his unique name bestowed upon him by his father Ashoke Ganguli (Irfan) given his love with Russian literature and a past haunted by an accident.

However, rather than getting into the story, which I will definitely get into in my other post on the book review of The Namesake, I will focus on the movie.

The things I did not like about the movie (there are n number of blogs talking about how good the movie is!)

A. Settings

• Calcutta (then, and now Kolkata) of 1974 hardly seems authentic.
• Ashoke’s accident occurs in 1974, and he is bed ridden for one year. He goes to the US for 2 years, and that would take us to 1977. Getting married in 1977, and with a son who is nearing 25+ years at the time of going to Maxine’s house in New Hampshire, would take us to something like 2003+. I am surprised that neither Max nor Gogol had a cellphone. Surprisingly, no one in the movie had a cell phone till the time Moushumi flips one open. And even at that point, she is the only one with a cell. Everyone else uses landlines all the time.
  

B. Performances & Characterizations

• Tabu’s accent is just not Bengali enough. Her accent reminds me not of a Bengali turned American, but the recent metro English movies like 15 park avenue, etc. where the artists add a musical tinge to their English. “What Rahul! I tell you. These kids no! They are just taking our generation down the drain. You don’t trust me? How mean?”
• Kal Penn doesn’t look young enough to be a 14 year old (at the time when Ashoke gifts him the book). And he never seems irritated enough! More importantly, the story belongs to him. Somewhere Mira Nair has gone wrong in showcasing the conflict between Nikhil and Gogol.
• His sister’s character is totally sidelined. With her first half looks, it was a good ploy, but the second half is where she should have had a role to play. However, the book is about Gogol. And Gogol’s sister probably is not important for Gogol’s existence.
• The events are simplified a bit too much – Gogol’s hatred for his name is long drawn phenomenon where he doesn’t hate the name as much as its strangeness, its un-indianness or something like that. The trauma on his face (for the first 5 minutes after Ashoke tells him about the accident) is lost without any further analysis. And guess what - changing his name from Gogol to Nikhil is the most important thing he has done ever.
• The divorce between Gogol and Moushumi just happens. Moushumi’s side of the story is never explained. And she does look pretty hot in some of the sequences. So my sympathies are with her. Not with the confused brat Gogol.
• Breakup with Max! but why? What went wrong? In her own way, she wanted to be a part of the family. What went wrong there? No explanations given!
• Gogol’s choice of being an architect. Again, too simplistic. What was he doing till the time he saw Taj? There is only one point where he is shown sketching. But what about the career shaping forces known as Indian parents, who want their kids to become doctors/engineers!!
• I can go on and on and on. But the point remains. Some of the underlying struggle of being a namesake, a fact that haunts Gogol forever, are hardly dealt with.

I feel, as I write this review, and as I walked out of the theatre, that The Namesake is another book turned movie gone average, a fact I would never understand. When a novel is written, the authors usually creates exquisite detail around who a person is, their life, their environment, their dresses, the walls, the colors. Someone converting it into a movie, needs to be honest to the spirit of the book. But they edit and re-edit it. Thinking they are making more logical sense than the original. They underestimate the viewer. Moreover, they make the mistake of assuming that the viewer has read the book.

However, having said all this, let me take some of the harsh words back. I am being overcritical because I had high expectations from the movie. I don’t remember having the feeling of walking out of the movie during those 2 hours. SO, its definitely worth a watch. It’s a decently narrated story in chunks. Its a collage of small snippets that Mira Nair tries to walk us through in her journey of understanding Gogol. Or, maybe, that’s her understanding of Gogol. It’s a reader’s interpretation!

Overall Rating -5-6 out of 10. Bulk of that 6 is Irfan Khan. And the fact that the movie is not a bore!

Movie Review: Hat Trick

All right All right. Yes I am on a blogging binge. But this is part of the series of stuff I wrote over the weekend but never managed to post because of my erratic internet connection at home.

And so, here I am, trying to review another below average movie which I shouldn’t have watched in the first place.

Anyways, Hat Trick is another useless attempt by a seemingly good director (Milan Luthria) to weave multiple stories together without there being any common thread. One story is that of a rather acidic doctor (Nana Patekar) being brought to life (humor, fun n all) by an ex-Cricketer (Danny). Second – of an obsessive cricket fan (Kunal Kapoor) being brought to his senses by his wife’s (Rimi) love for Mahendra Singh Dhoni. Third- of an airport janitor (Paresh Rawal) in UK desperate to get citizenship.
Why is the movie called Hat Trick? Well, I will exhaust two guesses-
1. Three wicket taking deliveries, three audience killing stories!
2. Hat Trick requires you to really pull some magic out of thin air. Here, the crew is trying to pull a story/movie out of thin air.

Paresh Rawal, the great actor that he is, has taken his greatness too seriously. He is overtly loud in this movie. His character required a certain desperation, an ABCD kinda mentality, a clear generation gap, and a personality for whom nothing really is going right. What he does is similar to what Amitabh was trying to pull off in his “Jadugar” and “Toofan” era. Dish some crap. People won’t realize because my crap stinks better than cK Eternity!
Paresh Rawal is so loud in this movie that you are almost about to shout at the theatre guys for being in love with him and turning up the volume every time he comes on screen. But of course you realize that these guys are not DJs who turn the volume down almost instantaneously when his wife/daughter is talking. And the tragic nature of his character can be bettered only by Ekta Kapoor’s K-series.

Nana Patekar, typecast long back, sleep walks through his role with ample ease. It’s a character that he is used to playing – angry with life for some weird reason, but a gentle and nice person at heart, extremely righteous, has fun towards the fag end of the movie, etc etc. Danny shines as an ex-cricketer. But then, there is no point wasting ink and space on these two guys unless they do something that they are not used to doing – acting badly! (Which Paresh Rawal has done in copious amounts)

Kunal Kapoor is good, ok, decent, etc. But is not the same he was in movies like Minaxi or RDB. His pairing with Rimi in the movie adds a lot of absurdity to the movie. Though there are a couple of comic moments, but barely so. The pair could have been dispensed with. And while I think about it, the movie could have been dispensed with too.

The song Rabba Khair Kare is nice (situational, in the backdrop, and interspersed throughout the movie). Harsha Bhogle, in his movie cameo, is not as natural as he is otherwise. But he is better than Paresh Rawal.
And Milan Luthria, after Kache Dhaage and Taxi No. 9211, and even movies like Deewar, is expected to make a slick fast paced movie. The pace of Hat Trick is sluggish, snailish at times!

Overall – Rating 3 on 10. Avoidable! Unless, you are in love with Kunal Kapoor who does pull a Salman Khan for a couple of minutes (not the receding hairline bit silly! The bare all Salman!)

Moview Review: Just Married

An ensemble cast full of losers, largely loser performances, mediocre editing, average music, and an ok storyline. Chef Comment – Passable Movie!

The story is about the lead couple Fardeen and Esha having gotten married (arranged marriage) and going on their honeymoon where they are staying with 4 other couples (Bikram Saluja-Perizaad, Mukul Dev- Sadia Siddiqui, Raj Zutshi-Tarina and Satish Shah-Kiron Kher). Each of these couples has its own story, set of highs and lows, and a love & hate relationship. Finally love is supposed to triumph, and so it does!

Performances

Fardeen and Esha - Its surprising how Fardeen can make Esha look like an actress! Fardeen is pathetic as usual. With 70% of the dialogues being delivered by Fardeen (explicitly or through a voiceover), it reminds me of how li'l kids participating in elocution competitions are supposed to memorize the lines by rote with no real importance to the emotional punch. The only difference being - Fardeen is worse! He does not have the kiddish innocence required to carry that off!
Esha (even without the Deol) is supposed to giggle, shy away, look confused and act dumb. She is given minimal dialogues, and I wonder if that was Meghna Gulzar's (the director) mega strategic maneuver. Asking lousy actresses to just stand there and do whatever they feel like doing is a good way to save time and energy.

Bikram Saluja has still not realized that for anything beyond the Grasim and whatever suiting shirting ads he does, some importance is attached to how you act. People are supposed to have a bit of variation in their dialogue delivery. I wonder if his fights with his girlfriend(s) have the same tone as the romantic evenings!
Perizaad Zorabian (and sadly) Irani is wasted as she tries to put some semblance of credibility in this movie through her character. Pity, she didn't get to build on the tragic side of her story. That she looks good and can act is something that we know!

Mukul Dev and Sadia Siddique are like a TV couple. Sadia knows how to play those small roles well and she does, and one look at Mukul tells you why he was thrown out of movies' world!

Fourth couple - Raj Zutshi and Tarina Patel - is also a good for nothing, and I don’t know why you are there in the movie couple. Raj has few dialogues. Tarina- fewer

Saving grace of the movie - Satish Shah and Kiron Kher. They rock! Their banters as a couple, their comic timing, and the fact that they are the only ones who add what the real element this movie should have been - Comedy! The scene where both of them are sleeping with their monkey caps and mufflers on is cute and funny. While the continuous "phir bus beech mein rukwaoge" kinda comments are hilarious. And the fact that their concluding sentiment is the only message that this movie could have stood for - You need to stand by your life partner, whatever may happen!

I wonder if Meghna Gulzar identifies and relates more with that generation more than this. While her current day couples are stories that you probably can find in your lifetime, the treatment of what their problems are and what they go through is extremely shallow, her treatment of Satish-Kiron couple is just perfect!

Any other high points- can’t remember!

Overall - Watch it if you have nothing better to do. Or, if you get a free DVD or something, keep skipping to the parts where Satish Shah and Kiron Kher are! You'll think you watched a gun movie!

Movie review: Eklavya - The Royal Guard

How many times have you had a great meal followed by a bad dessert? Or a lot of drinks and a great feeling before you puked and destroyed it all? Or, a JJWS kinda feeling where someone pulls that final gear and beats you in the race just when you thought you had won it?

The movie is a pretty good one, but for one haunting memory of the India-SriLanka one day match (the second ODI of the recent series). Everything cruises on so smoothly that you forget that it’s a contest. You are ready to give India a thumbs up on their performance. And suddenly, they lose the match! Eklavya is just that. A great movie where Vidhu Vinod Chopra just decided to go bollywood in the end and come up with a very very very typical climax.

Eklavya – Amitabh, is Eklavya’s movie. Just that Amitabh is the Lord Krishna of Bollywood. Movies, Media, Scripts, Characters, Stories are all centered around him. And he never disappoints. Saif Ali Khan stands tall in front of Amitabh, and that speaks volumes about his performance. Amitabh and Saif are the Maharaja Mac and Coke of this happy meal. And there are plenty of tiny little French fries.

Story, Screenplay, Dialogues, Cinematography are the big plusses. Obviously, in addition to the performances of the stars. Characterization is the biggest strength of this movie. Eklavya’s love for tradition and his innermost conflicts are well portrayed. All the characters – Harshvardhan(Saif) as the heir apparent who realizes his true origins after his mother’s (Sharmila) death. Rana (Boman) and his anger at realizing that his royal palace guard is the father of his children. Nandini (Raima) as the mentally retarded daughter and her joys and fears. Pannulal (Sanjay Dutt) as the low caste DSP is good in his cameo. Rajjo (Vidya) as the poor-girl-love-interest of Harsh & Jyotivardhan (Jackie)- the deprived brother of Rana – these two could have been built better. But considering that the movie is really about Eklavya only, creating these strong profiles is a big achievement.

The element of suspense as the drama unfolds is quite intriguing. It’s a well tightened 2 hour movie, implying no embarrassing song and dance sequences.

Movie does not have a consistent pace – it varies with different stages of the movie. The average movie goer will be disappointed at times. And the yash choprization of the climax where everything falls together is the worst thing about the movie.

And the last big take home – a Trailer of Munnabhai chale America in the intermission

Update: Salam-e-ishq

Great Bong writes this hilarious piece on salam-e-ishq here

If only we were like Dhritrashtra's Sanjay.. we would not have to go through the torture of going to a theatre to write all this!

Movie Review: Parzania

I usually take pride in myself as being someone who does not get emotionally attached to a movie and/or get affected/disturbed by a movie, even though I am a big movie buff. The last movie that seriously got me depressed was “The Passion Of The Christ”. Last night, Parzania did end up affecting me a lot. (The tagline is justified - Heaven and Hell on Earth)

For a very long moment after the movie was over, noticing that I was still at a loss of words, I realized my true emotions. I was ashamed. For once, I was ashamed. Of being in a country where such vandalism happens. And goes unpunished. Religious fanaticism and its monstrous manifestation. How I hate the politics of this country (not better or worse than a multitude of other countries) for reducing the common man to a petty existence. Where the cheapest thing on the street is someone’s life. When will we start appreciating the value of people’s life? I can’t forget the communal tension on 1991-92 when some people decided that it was high time the religious atrocities of 15th and 16th centuries be avenged.

Let people live in peace. Who wants to sit in a classroom fearing the guy sitting a couple of chairs away from him? Think of the poor kid who might end up being a religious minority in that room.

Coming back to the "movie" - It’s a very well made movie (purely speaking in movie terms). While the first 25-30 minutes seem a little slow, the performances are absolutely top notch. Sarika, who in her own era, seemed to be meant more for B-class movies, has come up with a spectacular act. In the testimony scene, she just blows you apart. I can write one more time about how great an actor Naseerudin Shah is. The realization, the agony and the futility of existence – all in one scene, I can’t really think of someone who could have pulled it off with such consummate ease. The other artists have played their part very nicely. But the movie hinges on Naseer and Sarika, their little daughter (Dilshaad) and the boy (Parzan)-of Dhara's "jalebiiii" fame!

The background score makes you cringe. There are times when you think that a hindi movie with English subtitles who have been more effective. Local sentiments in a local language. But that does not take anything away from the movie! It’s a must watch for everyone.

Let me leave you readers with a question – If killing avenges, what’s your plan B? Sooner or later, someone’s gonna get you!

Rating - 9 out of 10. Maybe 10.

Some other views on the Parzania-Gujarat controversy and Parzania as a movie

Bollywood Gupshup - State of Gujarat has managed to score another ace with this moronic act of banning the movie.

Rediff

Amit Goyal-Wordpress

Link to other reviews from TOI, Mid-day et al.

Rajdeep Sardesai on Modi(y)s - The man who made a fortune and the man who lost a son

Movie Review: Salaam-E-Ishq

Sili Sili Jalti Raaton Mein
Jalta hoon main barsaton mein
Bhiga bhiga har pal yaadon mein
Dil kya kare

Kuch bhi kare, par ye movie na dekhe! (Whatever you do, please don’t watch this movie!). Serious advice from a movie lover.

A bad rip off Love Actually, hamming stories, meaningless editing, a lot of average performances, and wrongly placed focus. That’s what this movie is.

Basic mathematics suggests that six couples in a movie would mean 30 minutes per couple in a 3 hour long movie. 10 minutes for everyones background, 10 for setting up the love story, and another 10 minutes for the culmination, emotion, drama, et al! Is that enough. Well, it might have been. But… But I forgot to mention that 5 minutes per couple should be dedicated to Songs. Where would bollywood be without all this song and dance drama! Worse still, there are some couples who should not have, have got 30mins plus! And those who shouldn’t have, have got less than 30 mins in the movie.

Priyanka Chopra and Salman Khan- The first and the worst couple of the movie are the lousiest.
Anil Kapoor and Juhi Chawla – the golden oldies have put in a good show, but for a worthless script.
Akshay Khanna and Ayesha Takia- Akshay is believable as the young “I-don’t-want-to-commit” dude representing the youth of this country. Ayesha has been wasted
Sohail Khan and Isha Kopikkar –I don’t know why they are there. Even though they are funny, but the director could have done away with the 5 minutes of wasted footage on this deprived couple.
Govinda and the foreigner girl – The best couple of the movie. Govinda is not quite back to where he was, but he still is the best act in the movie. And the girl doesn’t disappoint a lot.
John Abraham and Vidya Balan – decent, but useless. They keep crying for 70% of their presence in the movie. But the good part is, the climax of their story is not about everything falling into place. They just decide to make do with whatever they have!

Best thing about the movie – the music. Title song, Dil kya kare are the winners so far. But my favorite is Kailash Kher’s Ya Rabba. Another song where this amazing singer showcases his talent!

Rating - 3 on a scale of 10.

of Gurus.. Ganguly.. and Gunners… isn’t this GGGGGGGGGood

Over the last week, I witnessed a 3G performance.

Abhishek Bachan, after getting completely washed out by Hrithik Roshan in Dhoom 2 (the movie itself being a washout is a different story altogether), marks his finest performance till date as Guru – A Villager! A Visionary!! A Winner!!! The Dhirubhai Ambani modeled story of Gurukant Desai is a fine portrayal of human characters. Guru does get to see a good performance by the good ol’ Mithunda of Gunda and Mrigya fame as well.

Ganguly, in a different setting, was marking another fine comeback. After being written off by all TDHs, Ganguly decide to take the sword to the WI attack. It was a fine display interspersed with a six that only he can hit (dancing down the wicket, sailing over the long on/off boundary with an effortless precision), some arrogant strokemaking and a sad ending (2 runs short of a century). He should stop focusing on Dada ads, and concentrate on Gadha, I mean, Ganguly ads.

Gunners, on the other hand, took ManU down. Three strokes off three fine crosses helping ace scorers find the net (Henry, v.Persie and Rooney). The game was not quite up there considering the 22 dancing daisies adorning the field. But then, ever since Henry has come back from injury, Arsenal too have started showing a steady improvement and a lot of faith in their abilities.


What does it all tell you? That this week, I will worship Lord Ganesha, eat Good/Gult food, listen to GnR, or, The Grateful Dead, talk like Gulshan Grover, wear Green shirts. And yeah, I will rename myself GAmit Das. On second thoughts, Amit Gas sounds better.

GAS – An MBA! A Consultant!! A GasBag!!!

Movie Review: Bhagam Bhaag

What I am going to write is going to be nothing short of blasphemy. But let me do it.

I was actually scared of watching this movie. But then, I was the one who got 15 people together, and convinced them to watch this movie. So, even after hearing/reading the reviews that came out during the day, I could not pull out!

Those uncertain steps were certainly not needed. The movie is actually a laugh riot! And as the name suggests (it would means – Utter Chaos! Or Run-Run! Or something like that), the movie should be a runaway success!

The movie has a proven comical duo – Paresh Rawal and Akshay Kumar. And Priyadarshan has pulled in the No.1 Comedian – Govinda as well. The comic timing, as expected, is brilliant. Paresh Rawal, as usual, keeps the story together as “Sethji”. Govinda looks old and a little fatigued, but he still is doing what he does best. Meaningless gabs and witty gags. Akshay Kumar must be thinking – Why the hell did I waste so many precious years trying to kick people around in jeans and full sleeved t-shirts.
Bottomline – the movie rocks! Must watch, irrespective of what the serious critiques tell you. There are times when meaninglessness is shown in an amazingly funny way. And that’s what bhagam-bhaag is all about

Now, I wouldn’t ever become a critique worth my money if I don’t tell you the downers –

• Music definitely is one of them. The “Signal” song is pretty much the draw of the lot. The other songs don’t quite measure up.
• Lara Dutta looks pretty as ever, though her role and character could have been defined slightly better. But then, she would have looked lost when sharing the frame with three of the best comical actors of modern times.
• And lastly, the end-sequence could have been made a little more normal. This time, Priyadarshan has overdone it!

Oops – why is my review a blasphemy? Well, I don’t think I have too many people out there giving out positive and raving reviews about the movie! But then, aren’t we a democratic country?

Movie Review: Don- The (Meaningless) Chase Begins!

I watched "Don- The Chase Begins Again" last night. It was a disaster, relatively speaking (relative to the original). I could have spent those three hours watching a Real Madrid match where they defeated Barcelona, or I could have watched Schumacher pull out a real good one to end up at fourth, when even the stars were against him. But, however, alas! I watched DON! A meaningless chase.

First up – the background score sucks . Too loud, too "not-required". Unlike what he could achieve in Lakshya and Dil Chahta Hai, Farhan Akhtar and team have gone completely berserk with the background score of Don. Its jarry, incoherent and so distracting. And yes- distracting, the movie is!

Starting off with the golden scene where Amitabh picks the phone only to say - "Don!" in his deep baritone, and replacing it with a K.K.K…Kiran kinda Don voice (c'mon! you can't really compare the baritone of Amitabh's voice with Shahrukh's baby voice, can you?). Every dialogue then-immortalized by Amitabh goes begging for some more justice! SRK is just not there! He does have a strong screen presence. But that's where the similarities end. Don probably was written for Amitabh. SRK cannot be force-fitted in such a role. Just as I find it difficult to imagine Harish (remember, Prem-Qaidi, debut movie with Karishma Kapoor!) beat 20 guys at one go , I find it difficult to see SRK do justice to Amitabh's Don. For me, the movie will always remain – "Amitabh's" Don!

The songs are a disappointment . Morya re is probably the pick of the lot. Ye Mera Dil is not there. Simply because the song has such strong memories of the ethereal Helen dancing the way only the Apsaras of Lord Indra's court (religiously speaking) could! Kareena Kapoor does not look as hot , as luscious, and certainly, not as flexible. I could not understand why that Don did not give in to the temptation completely. But this Don, I understand. He just didn't get a good deal! Thank God , she is not there for too long. She looks a sack of potatoes moving around with great difficulty. Aaj ki Raat and Main Hoon Don are just ok. But the music arrangement could have been a little less obtrusive. Khaike Paan does not have the same punch that Kishore da packed.

The movie might have sold off well had it been an independent creation, simply because its brilliant in cinematography and editing. Technical details are well taken care of. Action sequences are involving and pretty much at the international level of film-making. The end is interesting and it leaves a lot of scope for a sequel. The first half of the movie puts you off because you compare almost every shot of the movie with Amitabh's Don. The second half is Farhan's creativity- but a little lost! Its difficult to retain the flair and flavor of the original Don , unless you retain the story. Farhan, to that extent, has fallen into the trap of trying to beat the excellent.

Lets do one on one comparisions –

1. Amitabh Vs SRK – no comments! It will be an insult to the Big B!
2. Chandra Vs. Farhan – Chandra was/is a no-name beyond Don. Farhan has DCH and Lakhshya , two amazingly well made movies. Vote for Farhan. But in the case of this movie, Chandra has kept it taut and flowing, while Farhan has succumbed to the pressure of altering the classic to show his creativity.
3. Zeenat Vs. Priyanka Chopra – I am inclined to vote for Priyanka. While I do think the modern Roma had a more curtailed Role , compared to the old Roma, I think Priyanka has looked good, has acted well and has timed her expressions well.
4. Salim-Javed vs. Farhan – Legendary S-J were the gods of Masala movies. They knew how to weave it all together. I think it would have been their era when RJ's on vividh bharti started explaining movies this way – Isme action hai , emotion hai, drama hai, suspense hai, thrill hai, romance hai aur song and dance bhee hai! Dekhna na bhooliye apne nezdiki theatre mein!! Farhan's biggest problem was trying to better a script written by the legendary duo. Farhan is good at natural expressions , and not at grandiosity of emotions. Don is not about subtlety. Its about magnanimity of that one character jise 11 mulkon ki police dhoondh rahi hai!
5. Iftekhaar vs. Boman Irani – vote for iftekhaar. Iftekhaar was the traditional Indian cop who knew how to underplay himself while keeping the emotions/expressions natural. Boman , has a bigger role than iftekhaar and a different shade to it, but he is not in the same league this time.
6. Om Shivpuri vs. Om Puri – Actors like Om Puri should not be wasted the way he has been in this movie. He could have taken one of the more meatier roles (maybe DCP De Silva or Narang). Lets not compare. Both are good!
7. Narang and the side kicks – Mac and Narang are two characters everyone remembers. They are like the sambha and kaalia of sholay. And I missed the originals. They were better. New Narang (Pavan Malhotra) hardly looks menacing.
8. Arpana Chudhrary Vs. Isha Kopikkar (Anita)– The character of Anita had more emotion and meat in the older version. Maybe , Farhan is saving Anita for the sequel.
9. And finally, Pran Vs. Arjun Rampal – Whooooooooooaaaahhhh… There are times when I wonder if Pran was/is better than half our star lot put together. Pran had charisma, personality and an extreme amount of versatility in his performances. Arjun doesn't look half as suffering/determined as Pran looked.

All in all – watch it if you are totally madly in love with SRK, or if you have absolutely nothing to do. Otherwise , I would say – rent out the original Don DVD (buying might be a good option) and Ensoi!